Monday, May 31, 2010

Recipe 14 - The KB

Ingredients:
Refried Beans, Baked Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes, Extra Lean Ground beef, Old El Paso Burrito Seasoning, Jalapeno pepper juice, Lettuce, 3 Cheese Kraft Dinner, Marble Cheese, Montreal Steak Spice.


DELICIOUS. OM NOM NOM NOM. This reminds me of Asher Roth's song "I love College" except he left out the part about KD. But I think that KD commercial with the two guys playing with the heating to cook their KD pretty much summed up the experience. Go look that up, it's a good one. Just like this burrito. If I were to relate this to women it would be the prom queen... before she got hit by the bus. Yeah. Smashtacular. Mix this shit up.

Rating:
Flavour - 9
Runny Nose - 6
Filling - 9
Overall – 9

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Recipe 13 - The Potato+

Ingredients: Baked Potatoes, marble cheese, medium chunky salsa, sizzlin' hot sauce, jalapeno peppers, banana peppers, sour cream, margarine, lettuce, refried beans, montreal steak spice.

This burrito was faaaaaaaaaaaaantastic, just faaaaaantastic. It was everything I wanted a burriot made out of potatoes to be, spicy, filling, flavourific, textured and all with a smokey barbecue feel. Best part is, it was a mistake! because I was boiling potatoes to make regular mashed and forgot about them, making more of a steam/baked combo. YAY. Make one. Make one for your Irish/Mexican friends.

Rating:
Flavour - 9
Runny Nose - 8
Filling - 9
Overall – 9

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Recipe 12 - The Eggrito?

Ingredients:
3 Eggs, Marble Cheese, Montreal Steak Spice


The Eggrito was so so, going with my usual analogies centered around the girls you knew in high school, this one was the one that you didn't know. It was too boring to be hot, and too plain to be dorky... it just kind of slipped under the radar. If by chance you happened to have one of your own, you would find it sexy enough to be filling but too timid to surpass satisfactory. A solid 5

Rating:
Flavour - 5
Runny Nose - 2
Filling - 6
Overall – 5



Thursday, May 27, 2010

Recipe 11 - The Phoenix

Ingredients:
Extra lean ground beef, Old El Paso burrito seasoning, Montreal Steak Spice, refried beans, lettuce, marble cheese, banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, Sizzlin' Hot sauce, Sour Cream. ADDED: Medium Chunky Salsa, Green Peppers


This is the burrito that was meant to be. A delicious combination of all things tasty, combined with a spice that didn't send you running but made you feel like a powerful dragon, with mexican fire breath. Knights would just be jumping in front of you hoping you would shower them with your Spicy bean-beef-rrito death breath. I ate two, I want 3 more. Best part is, I'm at the perfect level of not too full, but not hungry. Put a wedding ring in this, give it to your girlfriend and if she doesn't say yes KICK HER IN THE MOUTH, because obviously she's got no use for it.

Rating:
Flavour - 9
Runny Nose - 8
Filling - 9
Overall – 9

*Side note, if you're going to change any of the ingredients make sure you replace them with spicier ones. Don't be a pussy.

Recipe 10 - The Burnrito

Ingredients:
Extra lean ground beef, Old El Paso burrito seasoning, Montreal Steak Spice, refried beans, lettuce, marble cheese, banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, Sizzlin' Hot sauce, Sour Cream.


This burrito I felt bad for... there were so many names that would have suited it... like the Ugly Duckling.. or the Hiroshima Aftermath. Potentially even the Tragic End. However the ending was not tragic and the burrito was spectacular. I tend to lean towards the ugly duckling being the best descriptor of how this burrito actually was because I plan on following it up with some additions to the recipe and without burning it to a crisp. Perhaps I should name it the Phoenix as it will rise from the ashes of this tragic success. Seriously though, this burrito was like the girl who was prom queen and then overdosed at the after party. It was like eating Christopher Reeve, potentially super but all too human. Try this, try it the right way, and don't let it burn... or fall off a horse. That's the trick.

Rating:
Flavour - 7
Runny Nose - 7
Filling - 9
Overall – 8

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Intermission

Hey guys, just wanted to let you know I'll be returning to my regular Burrito cooking duties tonight and will have a new post available for you tomorrow. Spent the Victoria day working on a spectacular pub crawl around Ottawa and working the Grand Reopening of the Canadian Museum of Nature. Most Excellent, Most Catered.

J

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Recipe 9 - The Meat and Potatoes Burrito

Ingredients: Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes (with skin still on), Montreal Chicken Spice, Cottage Cheese, Marble Cheese, Brown Beans, Sizzlin' Hot Sauce, Lean Beef, Old El Paso Burrito Mix, Banana Pepper Juice.

Extra Delicious. Basically an Improvement to Xandy's submission for the Potatorrito. I love it. Still interested in knowing if corn would be a good addition, and honestly I think it would. However this burrito is damn tasty as is, so tasty, I wish i'd made a second one. Sadly though , I didn't have enough of the right ingredients prepared and I was hungry for lunch. Honestly though, this is a recommend. Try it, eat it, love it... it's so easy to make it's not even funny, everything gets mixed together in one big pot and away you go.

Rating
Flavour - 8
Runny Nose - 4
Filling - 9
Overall – 8

Recipe 8 - The Potatorrito

Ingredients: Mashed Yukon Gold Potatoes (with skin still on), Montreal Chicken Spice, Cottage Cheese, Marble Cheese, Brown Beans.

Delicious. I'm a big fan of potatoes but have never really liked them mashed.. I just thought they lacked texture in the mashed form. Leaving the skins on really helped this and the burrito wrapping made it seem like i might actually have to chew a bit before swallowing. Awesome. I liked it. I'm going to do an attempt number 2 on this because I think it would go really well with some meat in it. Kind of like a Sheppard's Pie. We'll see where things go.

Rating
Flavour - 6
Runny Nose - 0
Filling - 8
Overall – 6



Pictures:
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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Recipe 7 -The Keith Powell

Ingredients: 1.5 lbs. of bacon, sour cream, half a block of cheese.

Fuck you Keith, Fuck you Wendy’s. Fuckkkk. Okay.. I’ve so far made it through 1.5 of the burritos and I’ve had to stop for a health break. Was starting to feel seriously ill over the last couple of bites. There’s this weird texture between lukewarm melted cheese, sour cream and semi-hard bacon that’s just kind of unnerving, also the build-up of grease is ridiculous, I feel like the average obese American teen, stuffing my pimply little face full of cheeseburgers because my parents don’t love me enough to by me my own Porshe. Or Portia de Rossi… is she still around even, or did one of those kids eat her too? Regardless Keith you’re a bastard, I took a tonne of pictures of the process, hopefully I’ll survive the night. The shakes are coming, I can feel them.

Rating
Flavour - 7
Runny Nose - 0
Filling -10
Overall – 5 (5, the bridge between good and bad, or in this case evil)

Pictures of the process:

First off: Half the Bacon
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The Burritos being prepped for bacon reception
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The first batch of bacon complete
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The Aftermath... this is about 2 bites away from where I said.. "no more."
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ANd now for Todays Videos


*For whatever reason this video wont upload properly, I'll have to take another shot at it tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Recipe 6 - The Celeburrito

Ingredients:
Lean Ground Beef, Old El Paso Burrito mix, Chicken, Marble Cheese, Green Peppers, Medium Chunky Salsa, Sizzlin' Hot Sauce, Rice.


Mmmm Delicious. Filling. Things that are important when you’re out in the woods and are afraid to go outside after dark because there’s bears. Black bears, like ninjas in the dark. Indeed if those bears caught you and ate you, they would immediately think “That’s a damn good burrito boy (or girl, if there are any of you out there who haven’t hopped on the sushi train for good.)” Seriously though, if you want a meal that fills you up just right, and doesn’t leave you craving flavour, cook up one of these burritos. Celebrate!

Rating
Flavour - 6
Runny Nose - 5
Filling -8
Overall - 7

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Recipe 5 - The Burrodie Cuff

Ingredients: Ground Beef, Lettuce, Tomato, Sweet Chili Heat Doritos

Fucking tasty! ... Fuck-taste-ic! Something like that. The original combo was great, I did enjoy it, but the burrito really shone through when I mixed in a little "Sizzlin' hot sauce" added some cheese and mixed in that Old El Paso burrito mix. I'd even go as far as to put some rice in there, and if you can get yourself a chili bean mix, mash that into a paste and spread it through the whole thing. Eating this was like going to your younger girlfriends senior prom, after you've already done your own and thought man.. that was average, and it turns out she goes to a school for strippers and cowboys who shoot flaming shot glasses of barrels while riding on the backs of bulls and smoking a Stogey. What I'm trying to say is they've got kick.

Rating
Flavour - 7
Runny Nose - 6
Filling -6
Overall - 7


Friday, May 14, 2010

Recipe 4 - The Bunn

Ingredients: Cheese, Medium Chunky Salsa, Green Peppers, Lean Beef, Old El Paso Burrito Seasoning

Fucking good. A classic burrito, simple, easy to prepare, tastes good. I have to admit this was my first experience with Old El Paso Burrito seasoning and it was a good one, the seasoning really added flavour to the lean beef and gave it something extra without taking up valuable real estate inside the wrap. Would definitely do this again.. in fact.. I'm going to make another right now.

Ideas for Improvement: Add some beans and hot peppers to make it a little more rounded and up the spice. Initial thought was green onions as well, I think a few of those mixed in with the beef while cooking would really top off on the flavour chart.

I tried this on the second burrito, the result were good enough for a 1 point increase in overall flavor. Add hot sauce and its good for 2.


Rating
Flavour - 7
Runny Nose - 1
Filling -6
Overall - 6

Recipe 3 - The Spaghettirito

Ingredients: Spaghetti, Marinara Sauce, Marble Cheese, Montreal Streak Spice, Ground Black Pepper, Green Pepper, Banana Pepper.

Probably one of the most boring, bland, mundane burritos I've ever made. To top it off the tortillas were too small for the spaghetti and sauce and it was very sloppy, the first one didn't get crisped enough and I had to make a second just to fit all the food I made which I burnt. An upsetting experience. I still have the taste of the burnt one in my mouth. Seemed like a good idea but the spaghetti is sloppy and doesn't stick together as well as rice, not well suited to a burrito. If I were to try this again i might use macaroni and let it cool in the fridge so it sort of sticks together then apply it to the burrito later.


Rating
Flavour - 4
Runny Nose - 0
Filling -4
Overall - 3

Recipe 2 - Chicken Marinarito

Ingredients: Chicken, Marinara Sauce, Marble Cheese, Montreal Chicken Spice, Banana Peppers, Rice, Lettuce.

- Pre-cook rice and chicken
- Mix Chicken, Rice, Marinara Sauce, and Cheese into a large frying pan, season with montreal chicken spice
- Prepare tortilla on the side with lettuce and peppers.
- Once the mixture in the frying pan is heated, melted cheese being a good sign it's ready, add to the tortilla.
- Roll together into a burrito and fry on a frying pan to crisp the edges together so the burrito has a nice grilled taste and isn't so flimsy.


Not bad, not bad. Needed more spice. It was like eating the girl in class who you could never decide if she was hot or not... like in certain lights you could see that she had potential.. and maybe if she did her hair a certain way or stopped giving guys BJ's behind the portables at lunch she'd be attractive for sure. However it's the same deal.. you want to love it.. but your scared because it seems like it's not all together. Crazy-boring.. that's the word for it. This Burrito is Crazy-boring, a little crazy, but for boring people who don't like sipping margaritas out of someone's belly-button in Cancun.


Rating

Flavour - 6
Runny Nose- 1
Filling- 7
Overall- 5

Recipe 1 - The Breakfast Burrito

Ingredients:
2 eggs, Marble Cheese, Banana Peppers, Medium Salsa, Montreal Steak Spice, Plain White Tortilla


-Cook Eggs in a frying pan mixed with shredded/grated marble cheese and Montreal Steak Spice at a medium heat. Mix well, breaking the yolk and distributing cheese and spice evenly.
-Prepare Regular Tortilla with Medium Salsa,and Banana Peppers.
-Add spiced egg/cheese mix to the Tortilla.
-Roll the tortilla into a burrito and place on frying pan, Increase heat to maximum. The idea is to sort of sear the edges together, making the tortilla crispy and less likely to fall apart. Cook on the "seam" side first, then flip to the backside, aim for a golden brown. This should not take long, keep an eye on the Burrito and watch for burning.


This burrito was good for breakfast, it was filling, it felt healthy, whether or not it actually was is for some expert to decide... 4 hours later I wasn't hungry. Good deal. Simple to make. Considered rolling some toast and jam in there as the sort of coupe-de-grace to the breakfast combo inside.. LETS SEE YOU DO THAT TIM HORTONS. Anyways I'll try it next time, cheers. This is a good one.

Rating
Flavour - 7
Runny Nose- 3
Filling- 6
Overall- 6

The Beginning

The Mission:

About a year ago today I experienced the most mouth-watering burrito that I never knew existed. It was at a little Burrito shop in Etobicoke that had just opened up by the name of Burrito Boyz. Large chicken, on white, everything on it except tomatoes, medium spicy and a sprite. $7. I ate that same burrito for 32 days straight, I was a familiar face and loved the place.

Since then I have been separated from my beloved burrito shop. I am now spending the next 4 months in a small cabin north of Ottawa in Gatineau, Quebec. With little to nothing else to do I have decided to pursue the perfect burrito, one that could rival or even surpass the burrito of my memory.



The Execution:


I have called/emailed/messaged everyone I know and will continue to ask you the reader, for submissions of detailed ingredient lists as common or strange as they may be and as long as they are edible, I will create one per day and rate them against each other in pursuit of the perfect burrito. I will feature a burrito a day along with a blurb about my experiences through the whole process of each burritos creation, allowing for you to recreate any of the recipes I attempt. I hope you enjoy the blog, the burritos, and participate by submitting your own ideas or creations!


-J Copeland